My usual senses take in a lot more than what I think. I pay attention to very little because I may think it does not matter. Every once in a while the system reminds me that the details matter.
Over the course of about 3 years I had about 3 encounters with someone. Each time there was a sense of unease I had with them. A deep emotional turmoil hidden behind a strong positive frame.
During those encounters I was aware but not really interested. I had 3 more encounters, this time it was with people who were around them. The information was telling of a person in a difficult state. Again I felt no real urge to do anything.
Then boom, as if to say “I hope you have been listening” we were placed face to face. The circumstances of the meeting may have been business, but the essence was something else. Equipped with the awareness of the past, it felt like there was more work to be done, a learning of far more bearing than budgets and cash flows.
In the meetings there was a flow of energy. Truth and sincerity. Each time I purposely switched off my phone to minimise disruption. Time flew as we slowly chipped away at each other’s walls and laid bare who we are.
I can wish to have paid more attention in the past, that would be a wasted wish. All I can do, is pay attention in the present. Memory will serve me well when the details of those moments are required for action.