I think the best place to start this post is by defining sexy.

Sexy is an adjective meaning

  1. sexually attractive or exciting. Sex appeal
  2. (informal) very exciting or appealing.

As can be seen, we use the word “sexy” to describe a certain set of traits in both men and women. It is clear that one can’t pinpoint what the word means. Not all sexy people have things in common. The largest sexual organ is the brain (not what you thought) it is important to explore where we get our ideas about what sexy means. We know that being sexy has more to do with that “THING”. Real sexiness is in the eye of the beholder.

Because “sexy” is a personal type it’s like art: no two people can completely agree upon their favourite pieces and even if they do, they may like the same piece but for different reasons. However, the consistent idea about what it means to be sexy is the ability to arouse desire in another. Sexy comes with an attitude of confidence and being comfortable with one’s body and self. While beautiful people may be natural beauties, sexy men and women usually put effort into their appearance. Ever notice that sexy people do not apologize for the attention they get “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to turn you on.” On the contrary, being sexy means unashamedly owning your sexuality and the effect you have on others.

You can agree that sexy people all have an attitude of confidence, they are self-assured and generally have “good looks”.  However, you can enhance your sex appeal (sexiness) by playing up your best features. Say you have great legs. Why don’t you show them off with a short skirt and high heels or those beach shorts? If you’ve worked hard to get sculpted arms, why not show them off with a great tank top or a snug shirt instead of a baggy sweatshirt?

If you want to give someone the ultimate compliment, instead of calling them “pretty” or “beautiful” or “handsome” call them “sexy.” A sexy person causes appeal through beauty and presence.

Beauty Begins when you decide to be yourself

Coco Chanel

The ultimate beholder of your sexy is you, if you don’t find yourself sexy then you can almost certainly know that no one else will. Loving yourself for who you are and being comfortable in your own skin is the sexiest thing in the world. Be yourself and your sexiness will shine through. So let’s go out this year (I start the year on my birthday) and bring sexy back.

Here are 8 tips that I found could help you along.

  1. Be Kind. No matter what you look like, nothing will knock your appeal down faster than being rude to people.
  2. Focus on Dynamic Attractiveness. “Physical beauty” may be a component in innate appeal, but dynamic attractiveness involves the expression of our emotions and our underlying personality—and can boost your personal charisma. Smiling, being upbeat, having expressive eyes, are all associated with appeal. Use your brain A sharp, healthy mind can be akin to healthy body when it comes to being sexy. This means occasionally challenging yourself by having challenging conversation, expressing interest in new things, reading books on new topics, or even just watching a documentary about something you never knew. The more you know, the more you can talk about in an informed way.
  3. Put Your Phone Away (This is a big one for me…sigh!): The act of obsessively checking your phone every two minutes could be a bona-fide deal breaker. Be present. Don’t Be a Snooze-Fest. if people ask you questions, and you give one-word answers, roll your eyes, or seem generally disinterested, you’re not doing yourself any favours. Even if you look like a supermodel, people are most turned on by stimulating conversation, eye contact, and personality. Ask the Right Questions. Anytime you’re with another human, it’s a good bet that asking questions will always ensure flowing conversation. Be Assertive. If you want something that you believe you deserve, if you know you’re correct, or if your date suggests going somewhere you don’t want to, speak up. Being assertive is different than being pushy, and happens to be an admirable quality.
  4. Reduce insecurity. Whether it’s the one fashion blogger who only posts bikini shots, a specific celebrity, or a social media account, stop following and hanging around people who make you feel less confident. Social settings are supposed to be fun; not make you feel less confident.
  5. Wear the right size clothes. When clothes are too boxy, too long, or generally ill-fitting, it looks like you’re trying to cover up your body, which intrinsically translates to generally un-sexy. Never Wear Things That You Can’t Walk, Eat, Breathe, or Talk In., but a well-fitting dress with a nipped waist and a flattering hemline, a blazer that skims your body (and whose sleeves aren’t too long), or pair of slim well-fitting jeans that just hit your ankle will show your figure in a way that’s sexy without being overt. Don’t assume showing more skin Is sexier. Love your body and show it off. Do it in ways that are truly sexy, as opposed to flashy.
  6. Make Eye Contact. Looking everyone with which you’re interacting in the eye won’t only will boost your own confidence, but it will get people to see you as confident and in control. Humour. We know that razor-sharp wit isn’t something that can be learned, and we’re not all able to be truly funny all the time, but not taking yourself or the world around you too seriously is key. Plus, everyone loves a good sense of humour. Slow Down. Apparently slowing down your movements and your speech by around 10 percent can make you sexier now. Instead of rushing down the hallway, slow down and accentuate your movements. When you’re making a point, don’t wave your arms about quickly and erratically, or ever feel like you have to get every word out of your mouth as quickly as possible. Use Touch (beware personal spaces). one way to get a person’s attention, touch them very subtly on the arm or the back when you’re saying hello or goodbye, when you agree with something they’ve said, or if they’ve said something funny.
  7. Challenge Yourself, whether it’s at work or even something as small as taking an advanced fitness class instead of a beginner one, succeeding will you give you an air of confidence which will travel with you, making you much sexier. Take Up Yoga, it could be because yoga encourages a stronger mind-body connection. Hone Your Talents. Lots (and lots) of musicians, writers, actors, and artists aren’t traditionally attractive, but there’s a reason why they seem so damn sexy: talent. There’s something attractive about someone with strong skills, so take time to develop whatever it is you’re gifted in.
  8. Play Up Your Best Features, but Don’t Be Obsessed with Your Appearance. When you’re around people, focus your energy on making solid conversation instead of running to bathroom to brush your hair, reapply your lipstick, or check the mirror every five minutes. Overt vanity is not sexy. Get A Manicure and Pedicure. it’s often the small indulgences that make us look and feel our best, so making time for on a professional mani-pedi once in a while can do wonders. Let Your Natural Scent Do the Work. Your best bet isn’t piling on a cloud of scented spray. In addition to good hygiene habits, a subtle spritz of scent is fine, but you should be letting your natural pheromones shine.

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